Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
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Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
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You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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