Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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