His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
