Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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