I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
