Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I skipped work to stalk him.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
