Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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