Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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