Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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