why didn't you poke me back
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
