We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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