Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
