guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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