"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I cockslap morals
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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