since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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