I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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