It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This is the high leading the old right now
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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