How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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