And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Let's get the cat blown out
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
