at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
