youre lurking in front of me
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
