It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
