Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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