all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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