Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
