Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
