U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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