is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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