He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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