Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
