Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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