ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize