Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
