Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
