took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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