after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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