I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
