Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
