How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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