i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
