Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize