Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
