Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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