He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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