I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
