I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
