I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Maybe he injected his testicle?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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