How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
