u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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