pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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