Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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