my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
