Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
