If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My life is pants optional.
Randomize