And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
