so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
