Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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