i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
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Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
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He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.