I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
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Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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