Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.

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(248): I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard. http://tfl.nu/wcz2

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....

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(403): by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal.... http://tfl.nu/sunu

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk

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(814): Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk http://tfl.nu/i4kc

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..

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(952): Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day.. http://tfl.nu/4gef

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Wow. Its not even 11am.

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(973): Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house. (1-973): Wow. Its not even 11am. http://tfl.nu/p3yd

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.

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(508): I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship. http://tfl.nu/snem

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(989): View more from Michigan

Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.

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(989): Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am. http://tfl.nu/mfa3

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.

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(814): Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry. http://tfl.nu/q7zn

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(530): View more from California

Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication

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(530): Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication http://tfl.nu/e0p4

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(817): View more from Texas

What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?

(940): View more from Texas

I worry about you.

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(817): What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes? (940): I worry about you. http://tfl.nu/kzw0

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(248): View more from Michigan

So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"

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(248): So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal" http://tfl.nu/879f

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(310): View more from California

Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today

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(310): Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today http://tfl.nu/yb5r

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.

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(709): He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes. http://tfl.nu/6yst

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(618): View more from Illinois

My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....

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(618): My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why.... http://tfl.nu/ypyl

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(+61): View more from Australia

You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.

(1+61): View more from

Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?

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(+61): You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek. (1+61): Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before? http://tfl.nu/tcy4

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