I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.