Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

This is evicking siegelnvs

(443): View more from Maryland

Im sorry?

(410): View more from Maryland

This is fucking ridiculous*

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(305): View more from Florida

Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:

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(943): View more from

You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka

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(571): View more from Virginia

Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(309): View more from Illinois

We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.

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(703): View more from Virginia

The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.

(703): View more from Virginia

The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.

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