In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE