Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in

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  (518): it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in http://tfl.nu/7n77
  Replies (31) Good night (4688) Bad night (792)
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  (858): View more from California

  I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.

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  (858): I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street. http://tfl.nu/fk7f
  Replies (35) Good night (8660) Bad night (904)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  i can respect that.

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  (404): on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you. (1-404): i can respect that. http://tfl.nu/fvjd
  Replies (14) Good night (5020) Bad night (865)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.

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  (314): he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it. http://tfl.nu/pdii
  Replies (9) Good night (964) Bad night (4761)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets

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  (414): I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets http://tfl.nu/vdn6
  Replies (14) Good night (1158) Bad night (3920)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".

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  (616): he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail". http://tfl.nu/2qss
  Replies (27) Good night (5622) Bad night (1231)
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  (714): View more from California

  I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay

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  (714): I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay http://tfl.nu/rji9
  Replies (4) Good night (2199) Bad night (1314)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.

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  (406): drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/nkni
  Replies (4) Good night (1643) Bad night (1103)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.

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  (518): I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how. http://tfl.nu/ue8l
  Replies (4) Good night (2370) Bad night (1085)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.

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  (519): No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area. http://tfl.nu/eioj
  Replies (3) Good night (794) Bad night (1075)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game

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  (509): Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game http://tfl.nu/0fm6
  Replies (3) Good night (1118) Bad night (750)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.

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  (757): I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration. http://tfl.nu/xlpu
  Replies (5) Good night (1375) Bad night (620)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.

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  (814): The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain. http://tfl.nu/8v87
  Replies (1) Good night (1135) Bad night (488)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.

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  (785): There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha. http://tfl.nu/kiqc
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (361)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?

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  (720): side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy? http://tfl.nu/xxbk
  Replies (5) Good night (243) Bad night (574)

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