and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
