Texts From Last Night

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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

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  (902): and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted. http://tfl.nu/575h
  Replies (136) Good night (7844) Bad night (56058)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick

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  (757): apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick http://tfl.nu/awtp
  Replies (16) Good night (2978) Bad night (736)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.

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  (850): The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad. http://tfl.nu/dk8u
  Replies (27) Good night (678) Bad night (5280)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely

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  (423): Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely http://tfl.nu/wliv
  Replies (37) Good night (626) Bad night (4205)
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  (805): View more from California

  Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.

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  (805): Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order. http://tfl.nu/u5vw
  Replies (16) Good night (3951) Bad night (701)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well

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  (757): I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well http://tfl.nu/14t6
  Replies (7) Good night (4536) Bad night (1327)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.

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  (256): this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man. http://tfl.nu/hhwz
  Replies (17) Good night (1140) Bad night (6135)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN

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  (407): HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN http://tfl.nu/nyld
  Replies (15) Good night (7199) Bad night (1209)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.

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  (303): we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks. http://tfl.nu/6rdh
  Replies (6) Good night (3489) Bad night (1029)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.

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  (847): Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light. http://tfl.nu/vezf
  Replies (5) Good night (2766) Bad night (712)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"

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  (336): By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student" http://tfl.nu/w2vs
  Replies (10) Good night (2667) Bad night (568)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?

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  (479): Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday? http://tfl.nu/k0ma
  Replies (8) Good night (627) Bad night (336)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.

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  (850): Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants. http://tfl.nu/1sxz
  Replies (1) Good night (326) Bad night (472)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.

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  (253): Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day. http://tfl.nu/ofil
  Replies (4) Good night (321) Bad night (619)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma

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  (740): Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma http://tfl.nu/tujv
  Replies (1) Good night (198) Bad night (347)

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