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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt

  Fav 7 3308 1700

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class

  Fav 26 4859 1240

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  You know how I know you're gay?

  Fav 36 7198 1402

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.

  Fav 11 4797 1555

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.

  Fav 3 1952 999

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.

  Fav 5 2618 1114

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.

  Fav 5 1355 1105

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?

  Fav 2 714 1283

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.

  Fav 9 1136 2179

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.

  Fav 1 499 874

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.

  Fav 2 921 497

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• (718): View more from New York

  I can see the future and your future is full of penis

  Fav 2 746 398

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night

  Fav 1 358 547

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.

  Fav 2 19 59

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