in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
