I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Green mimosas i think yes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
